Things I get asked frequently, or things I'm just anxious to share with anybody who'll hear them...

• Q. Hi, I'm your imaginary interviewer, and you're my imaginary interviewee. I'm going to be asking you some questions, so please just try to be open and honest so we can get through this...
• A. Well, I guess I'll do my be-
• Q. -st..? :)
• A. that's impressive... how did you -
• Q. -...know what you were going to say..? I'm an interviewer it's my jo-
• A. - 'do'. I was going to say do.
• Q. Oh. right then.. so this website.. cute, but I don't get it.. who the hell are you?
• A. dude, you're a figment of my imagination and you don't know who I am?!
• Q. Let's not get existential here, I don't want to embarass anyone... Just answer the question please.
• A. agreed... Well to answer your questions, I'm dorkass. I run things here.
• Q. HA HAAA that's not interesting at all.
• A. Well damn, then ask me some more interesting questions, damn
• Q. All right... So what inspired you to make a... 'web' 'site?'
• A. Well obviously I did it because it's effing awesome... I mean.. Come on..
• Q. hoe long have u bene doign art!
• A. like, always
• Q. sorry, I had something in my teeth. Yes, I remember always, it was a great era. So what's up with the comic?
• A. Comics are sweet.
• Q. I see, well, that is a cop out... So how often are you updating?
• A. I dunno, whenever I feel like it... If it takes off, I'll probably start a schedule... Comics of the quality I put out ;) take a longass time to produce, like 4 to 5 hours... That's a lot of ass-time.
• Q. That's what she said!
• A. who said?
• Q. Why does everyone in those tooney pitchers you draw have five fingers? Are they some kindof freaks?!
• A. It's a funny story, really. They're not fingers, they're fingtacles. They're like fingers but they have no joints. Cartoons can do that.
• Q. So is the comic an ongoing story?
• A. Story of my life...
• Q. Dorkass Exposed? eww that sounds dirty!
• A. You know it! It's more along the lines of... exposing the dorkass side of things... Like the dark side, only dorky, a lot less dangerous, and it won't get you as many chicks...
• Q. So that's a.. cute.. website... who uh, who made that thing?
• A. Thanks... I made it. I'm awesome. I couldn't really have anyone else do it for me, it wouldn't be as.. awesome.
• Q. Well there goes my next question... (sigh)
• A. That's all right, I'll just pretend you're reading from the cue cards like you're supposed to have been. Who are my inspirations? I'm glad you asked. I'd have to say my biggest inspiration is mother nature. She makes trees and oceans and clouds and shit, it's divine. I hope to some day make my own trees and clouds...
• Q. Amazing. Who would you most like to meet some day?
• A. Oh, yeah, man... Yeah... Well Jesus comes to mind... DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER! But like, in a restaraunt or something, not me hiding in my closet while he busts in...Mokey from Fraggle Rock, she's my.. inspiration... Harry potter! I wanna like, make a magic.. Chuck norris so I can finally prove once and for all who the true champion is.. Robin Hood. Buddha, he's pretty rad. Drizzt Do'urden is pretty high on my list. Santa Clause, for the obvious reasons.. Mac from Mac and Me, I love that little snork... Obi Wan Kanobi... I'll admit it, total man-crush. It seems vainglorious to go on...
• Q. It is, and you are. Your answers are exasperating to me.
• A. How the hell did you get this job?
• Q. do you like video games? what kind?
• A. No.
• Q. What? but..
• A. sike.
• Q. teehee... you got me... Can I link to you?
• A. If anything, you can't not link to me..
• Q. Can I advertise on your site?
• A. Sure, contact me and we'll work something out. I take paypal, credit card, or sexual favors.
• Q. yikes, alright...Well that's all I've got for now, I guess we can wrap this up... did you wanna maybe get a cup of coffee or...?
• A. Actually I'm busy. I have a website to maintain...