Written some time in summer 07

People develop hobbies to fill the void that so eagerly spawns from idle hands... The void is quenched but never solved. What is this void, this layer of life skimmed away from the surface?

Everyone craves sustainence, everyone craves stability, structure, comfort within the lines... that's the easy part to life, you figure out what you need to become more comfortable, you retrieve it, and move on to the next upgrade... There is a very huge aspect of life that lies outside this area of comfort, this area that can never be satisfied even temporarily. Hobbies, projects, work, food, sleep, money, nothing can help... Perhaps purpose.

We all crave purpose, through structure and routine we achieve some sense of purpose.. We all desire a reason to wake up, but don't require one, due to our sense of structure. There is always a reason to start the next day, the vast majority of the time it's not a reason we enjoy.. To become more comfortable you have but to apply your energy towards whatever whim of direction bequests you. Purpose, however must find you... What do we make of this void when no hobbies can sate it, and purpose eludes?

On the one side of life, we can arrange contentness. We can maintain some sense of structure and maintain suvivability... On the other side of life, what is survivability without purpose? What is it to survive with no purpose in life? A void. The void within now becomes a void without...

Daily life becomes the routine we crave, and then we reject it. We find the comfort in our structure, and then we tear it down, all in search of the purpose. What is it to live? What is it to survive? What is it to have purpose?

Life burns out, you can't survive forever, and structure begets instability. If things that are will soon be not, and things that were won't be, in essense, there is no such thing as purpose. A purpose waiting to be fulfilled is life, a purpose ignored is surviving, a purpose never found is structure, and a purpose fulfilled is a purpose no more..